Our Adoption Story

So, Friday morning we were expecting to leave work and meet our agency ladies, Jane and Denise, and a birth mother in Salt Lake for lunch - shortly after 11am. I got a call around 9am saying the birth mom had a problem with security in the airport and missed her plane, so she wasn't scheduled to land until 3:50pm. So an already impossibly nerve-wracking and long day just got longer!





Totally busy at work, kept thinking of questions for Jane after I hung up the phone with her. On my cell phone half the day - with the agency, Frank, my dad, Kaylie, my brother.....cell phones are SO against the rule at work, but I was giddy with excitement, and, hey, I am sort of the boss, right??





Finally, it was time to leave, and even though I left a total mess in my desk (that I WILL have to go back and organize soon), I said, "I just can't do this anymore; I have to go!" And I practically ran out the door, nearly hyperventilating. I heard later that one of our customers noticed how flustered I was and asked if I was going to be OK....OK? O-K??? I really hadn't eaten breakfast, I had quite a bit of diet coke sloshing around in my stomach...by the time we reached downtown Salt Lake I dang near threw up! We had to swing through BK for a dollar-burger to settle me down.


So we get to the Gateway, we're supposed to meet them in front of Rumbi. Now, I know exactly what my agency ladies look like, but everytime I saw someone walk by with a tiny baby, I had to do a double-take to make sure it wasn't them. We waited an impossibly long time in the hot sun, nervous as can be. And then they came. Tamela was just carrying a baby over her shoulder with a little blue receiving blanket over him. And she offered him to me right away. It was all over. I melted.





We went into Applebees for lunch, and Jane suggested that Frank and I tell Tamela a little bit about ourselves and I couldn't even talk; I was just crying! You'd think I was on the other end of this business! Tamela was quiet and polite, her southern accent was just perfect. It was awkward since neither Frank or I are very social people, and I can only imagine what Tamela was going through. But Jane and Denise kept the conversation flowing, they're just WONDERFUL ladies.





After we ate, Denise took Tamela to a counseling appointment and then she would have to sign paperwork if she still wanted to place her baby for adoption. So they gave her the option of taking him with her or sending him with us for the few hours it would take. She actually said we could take him, but then she broke down and cried. And I felt hideous. Aren't we always taught NOT to wish bad things on people?!? And yet there I sat, actually praying that she would get on a plane back to Arkansas without her baby. It is the strangest experience, for sure.





So, into the car we went, with a borrowed carseat, to Babies R Us and Walmart. We ran through the stores like a whirlwind, grabbing everything Kaylie had said we would NEED immediately to bring a baby home (luckily I got addicted to REGISTERING months ago, so I'd already shopped this stuff in my mind). He was so perfect the entire time! Mostly he slept. OK, he only slept. He was so precious. Again, we spent about 3 hours on the phone with our families, shopping and killing time, hoping beyond hope that it was all really real.





We got a call around 8pm saying Tamela was ready to sign her relinquishment papers and that they'd let us know when she was done so we could meet them. That call came around 9:20, so we met Jane, Denise and Tamela at the hotel she was staying the night in. She had already signed, so the baby was no longer hers (technically the agency's at this point), but we gave her a chance to say goodbye. Good grief. I cannot begin to imagine the pain of making that decision, but where would I be without it? It was the most bittersweet moment. I've cried for her more times than I can count. She only spent a few hours in my life, but she will always hold a piece of my heart.





So, after that we sat out in the lobby, signed some paperwork ourselves and visited with Jane and Denise. And around 11:00 on Friday we headed home with our baby. (Notice I'm still calling him "the baby" at this point in the story. We didn't settle on a name until Saturday sometime!)





We got home around midnight and Kaylie showed up shortly afterward with baskets full of clothes from her and her sister-in-law, Shirley's, storage. We got the bassinet set up, we fed the baby and put him to bed around 2am. And he basically slept until 10am the next morning. Of course, I fed him and changed his diaper around 6am, but the little angel slept right through it! He pretty slept the entire day on Saturday, but I guess babies get jet-lag, too. He was eating and sleeping on a perfect 3-hour schedule - be still, my heart! He's my kind of guy!





My parents and Elise came up on Saturday, Kaylie and Troy and the kids came over and Troy put together the dresser we bought. That child's butt didn't touch ground until bedtime. Aunt Rachel called, probably peeved that I didn't call her sooner, but she had a lesson to learn in returning phone calls.





On Sunday, Aunt Selina called and squealed a bit (I miss you, Selina!); We talked to Uncle Keith several times over the weekend - it's just crazy how different Aaron and Taki are in size and they're only 1 day apart! And while they're developing basically the exact same right now, Erika and I are having an incredibly different experience! (Erika, Dad told me I'm lucky my feet don't look like waterballoons. He was referring to you. I'm SO sorry if you're still not feeling well). Grandma Shirley (McArthur) razzed me a bit about my episiotomy and my milk coming in, but I couldn't have been happier when she walked in with 4 of her girls. Being with Rachel and her sisters is like going home again - only better. I don't know what I'd do without a periodic fix of McArthur-ism! Of course, Shirley pointed out that my mom already knows baby Aaron. I know this, of course, so it only made me cry and I'm an ugly crier. I love you, Shirley!





It was quite a weekend, but so wonderful. The past 2 nights Aaron slept a full 4-5 hours, took a bottle in his sleep and then slept another 4 hours til morning. It's perfect - I usually get up once to pee in the middle of the night anyway! I'm re-reading The Baby Whisperer to make sure we keep this blessed schedule going. Everytime I think about the book, I remember pieces of "Look Who's Talking" when Kirstey Alley keeps saying, "But Dr Spock says....!" I'm probably going to be THAT mom.





I was thinking on Saturday or Sunday morning (I can't tell them apart anymore) that I really don't FEEL any different. Am I supposed to? At first I was wondering if there was something wrong with me, then I thought that maybe this is just so natural that it shouldn't feel any different. Who knows? Frank randomly giggles and says, "I'm a dad." I don't think it's really hit me yet.





It's Monday night now and Frank and I are on our own again. I'm not scared, it seems totally normal. Like it was meant to be.